Santa needs to get a life.

Connor: "Santa" while pointing at an ornament on the tree
Maddy: "That's not Santa. That's Santa's mom"
Me: "That's not Santa's mom. That's Santa's wife."
Maddy: "No, it's his mom"
Me: "It's not his mom, it's his wife"
Maddy: "No, they are like Mom and Dad. Like you and Larry."
Me: "Yeah, I'm Larry's wife."
Maddy: "No, a wife wears the pretty dress and the stuff on her head."
Me: "That's a bride."
Maddy: "oooooooohhhhh"

Santa is like what 300 years old and still lives with his mom? Jeeze, what a loser!