Time Travels

When I was pregnant with Connor I worked til 10 pm. When I came home I always went in to Maddy's room to give her a kiss before I went to bed. I would sneak in and she would be laying there, asleep. All cozy with her bear and blanket. I would give her a kiss and she would wake up just enough to acknowledge me. I would say "I love you." and she wouldn't respond. But if I said "You are so beautiful." or something like that she would always nod. lol. That made me laugh.

On my way out I would quietly close the door and stand in the dark hall, belly out to kingdom come. I would imagine having two kids. Having a baby sleeping in the, then empty, room to my right. It was all ready for our baby, sex unknown. I would close my eyes and try to feel another baby sleeping in there. When I felt like I could really see it, I would walk into the nursery. I would go over to the crib and peek in. Empty. But I knew someday the baby that was sleeping in my belly would be sleeping in that crib.

Nowadays, I don't check on the kids while they are sleeping too often. And when I do I usually check on Connor first. But once in a while I go through the old routine. I'll go kiss Maddy good night and then stand in the hall and picture a newborn baby sleeping in Connor's crib. I'll stand there for as long as need be until I've traveled back in time. Til I'm completely expecting a baby to be in that crib. Then I step in, silently walk over to the crib, and peek in. Only now, it's not empty. In fact, its shockingly full. Where did my baby go? Did I miss it? Was it only my imagination? Because here in this crib is not a baby... but a very big boy.