Breakdown

I've had several nervous breakdowns in my life. Some big, some little. But they all start the exact same way. They all start with me thinking "It's cool. I got this. I know things are kinda stressful right now, but look how well I'm handling it. I'm fiiiiinnne. " And then within minutes I'm a sobbing disaster.

Today I was sitting at a red light thinking those famous last words. I turned onto the freeway and about a mile later I missed my exit. That was it. That was the last straw. The tears started and 14 hours later they haven't stopped.

While you read this story keep in mind that I am either crying, or hold back tears this ENTIRE time.

I got to school, I wasn't late but I was right on time. I walk in to drop Connor off at preschool and this lady stops me to try to get me to register for their new daily sign in thing they got going. I have to do it eventually but honestly right then I didn't have time. She asks if I can do it when I come pick up Connor. I tell her I can't. (I really couldn't, I'll get to that in a second.) "It only takes 5 minutes." (Which I know is a lie because they said it takes 15 minutes to register when they sent the paper home last week and I'm not going to let her get me into that trap.) I tell her I really can't today. I promise to do it on Monday and jet on out of there.

So I go to class. My first class was normal. Then I went to Math. We started our group projects today. Click here for my opinions on group projects. For the project I need to buy a program from the Math department. I had planned on getting it today. For weeks my teacher has been saying how you can pick it up in the Math department for $10. Today he mentions that first they give you a code. Then you put that code into a website. You pay the $10 and then you get another code. Then you take that second code to the keepers of necessary program and they give it to you. CRAP! So I call Larry to make sure he will be near a computer after class so that he can enter this secret code into this website and give me the second secret code so I can get my damn program today. (Silly me thought I could just walk in a buy it. Ha! I forgot who I was dealing with.)

So after class I go to get code #1. Of course there is no code #1. You just go online and pay and then bring in the receipt. God Damn it!! So Larry has been waiting by a computer for 30 minutes for no reason. Instead he could be at school with my receipt right this very second! So I call him back with the website they gave me so he can do his thing.

It doesn't work. He tries Googling it. Nothing. So I go back to the Math Gods and tell them their website doesn't work. This middle aged [censored] who probably can't even check her own email looks over the top of her half glasses at me and just shakes her head no. What the [censored] kind of response is that?! So I say it again. "This website doesn't work." pointing to the sheet of paper they have taped to the counter with half a roll of clear making tape. This time actual words came out of her mouth. "Someone was able to use it yesterday." Oh wow! Thank you so much. That solved all my problems!! It's ok Larry, someone was able to use it yesterday. We are saved! Someone was able to use it yesterday! Hooray! Is that person here? Maybe THEY can help me?

I have a very hard time with rude customer service people because I have been in customer service so long myself that I know ALL the buttons to push. I have to make it a point to say as little as possible.

So while I'm standing there glaring at her Larry is able to figure it out. There is supposed to be a slash at the end of the URL that they failed to write on their super helpful note. So I tell the old [censored] this and she just stares at me. So I say it again "There is supposed to be a slash at the end of this." Thinking that maybe she will... oh I don't know... try it herself. Or at the very least remember this tidbit for the next poor soul who is put through this torture.

During all of this code getting fun I'm getting and making calls for work. I literally have a phone in each hand saying things like "hold on"... switch phones... "did that work? no? ok. hold on"... switch phone... "I will find that out and call you right back."... switch phones... "you got it? yeah? ok. hold on"... switch phones... ect.

Don't forget... I'm crying the whole time.

So while I'm waiting for Larry to come with my receipt I decide I should probably go pick up Connor since I'm way late. I walk in and immediately get ambushed by Register-For-The-New-Sign-In-Thing lady. I figure I might as well. I now have time, believe it or not. I literally have to sign my name 17 times during it. No joke. But I'm now registered on their high-tech device that will secure the saftey of my child. Either that or I just bought a house, I can't be sure.

I get and then make another set of work phone calls.

Finally, I'm ready to pick up Connor... a full 25 minutes late. Which is saying a lot since my class is within site of the daycare. I go and get the van, fight through insane bumper to bumper traffic in the parking lot, and get to our designated meeting spot and wait for Larry.

Larry shows up with what is the most ridiculous "receipt" I have ever seen. It basically just says my name and the name of the program. The website never even asked him to pay the $10. Which at this point I'm not sure what to believe. Nothing else anyone has told me about this adventure has been right, so who knows. Maybe it's free.

But just seeing him make me want to fall into his arms and never let go. I can't hug him or I will really lose it. All I want on this whole earth is to go home with him.

I go to park Larry's car. I do a few switch backs looking for a spot and my phone rings. It's Larry. He needs something out of his car. ARG. So I go back to the meeting place and wait for him. We meet again. He gets what he needs and return to looking for a non existent parking spot.

Finally, I take my paper back to new best friend. But first I find a seat in the air conditioning and take a few deep breaths. When I think I have pulled myself together enough to face her I go around the corner. She sees me, buries herself in her keyboard, and calls some guy to come help me. He takes my paper and furrows his brow. I'm just about to lose it when he says that I need to go to the cashier's office to pay. I curse everything at the thought, but I'm happy to be over one hurdle so I just sigh and begin the quarter mile hike to the cashier's office.

I pay. That was not eventful, thankfully.

The Math department guy accepts my papers! As he opened the door of wonders angels began to sing. A golden light poured from the closet and two doves flew past him and out in the room. It was glorious! He made sure to point out he magical "key code" inscribed on the fine paper that enveloped the program that is so special, so valuable that only the most hearty souls ever have it bestowed upon them.

I walk out with my prize. But the glory doesn't last long because in my frustration I have NO CLUE where I parked so I walk around the hot parking lot for 10 minutes looking like a fool. The van is easy to spot since there are very few minivans in a college parking lot. But a white 4 door sedan is practically impossible to see until you're on top of it.

On the ground next to the car was a full sized piece of corn on the cob on a stick. Think about that. Someone was eating corn on the cob on the way to school. I giggled through my tears.

[I finished the above post at 1:17 am. Before I could even hit "publish" Connor started screaming from his bed. Jumped up and went to his room to find him covered in puke and, upon further investigation, diaherra. I can't make this stuff up people! I wanted to leave you with an a funny corn on the cob image. But the day refused to end that way. Good night!]