Warning: Poop talk ahead!

Red likes his walks at 7:50 am. Sharp! So this morning we are out on our regular walk. Now I have to tell you that Red will only poop on a walk if he gets near this one type of flower. I don't know why. Weird, I know, but I swear it's true. So I do my best to keep him away from these plants. So far so good.

Until today.

I was walking through this one spot where there are quite a bit of these flowers. We were walking along and then all of a sudden Red just backs his butt up into this bush and starts pooping. Crap! (literally) Right as I realize what is going on this car turns the corner and I just know that it's this lady who is known for her calls to the HOA.

This lady walks around the neighborhood several times a day being a busy body and reporting everyone and everything she sees. I don't know if she is on the board, or just bored. But either way, I know this is bad news. She caught me bagless while my dog poops into a flowering bush. Awesome.

She drove down about 5 houses and stops. There is no way I'm going to leave the poop there while this lady is watching, so I just stand there. We were in a stand off. She was sitting there staring at me. I was standing there staring at her. But I was determined to wait her out. She's the one who has somewhere to be, not me. Finally after what seemed like 5 minutes she slowly drove away.

Yes, I went back and picked it up. Lord knows she is going to check that bush when she gets back home to see if I did. And I don't need any letters from the HOA. I thought about hanging my full poop bag on her doorknob with a letter saying something about how since she was so interested in my dog's poop that I wanted her to have it. But I didn't.

I'll just post it on the internet instead.